Sunday, January 21, 2007
As I made my way through beautiful downtown Wetumpka a couple of days ago, spreading cheer from office to office, I was about to enter the office of the city attorney when someone called out "Sir, sir, excuse me!". I stopped to see a young man (mid to late 20's) and his wife (I assume) approaching me. I had already spotted them in the parking lot next door near their parked Astro van and noticed that they seemed a little out of place. Why? Well, they were young and clean-cut. They were reasonably fit looking. They just did not look like Elmorons. But they did look a little disoriented. "Excuse me" he said "Is this the Post Office building?" I had to think a moment how to answer the question. You see, the large, square, white marble building used to house the Post Office before it was outgrown and a new building was constructed on Ft. Toulouse Road near the Wal-Mart. Not only that, but the building where they were parked has carved into the stones on front "UNITED STATES POST OFFICE" and is commonly referred to as the "old post office". Since community groups often have meetings there and advertise the meeting place as "the old post office", the answer could be yes or no depending on what exactly they were looking for. When I asked questions to clarify, it became obvious they wanted the USPS, not the old building. Unfortunately, the lady they asked in the courthouse across the street did not get the clarification and had sent them to this building. Having been thus reassurred that this was the post office and with the name prominently displayed on the front of the building AND with mail collection boxes still located in the parking lot, they had set out on their quest to complete change-of-address cards to their new address in Elmore County. By the time I happened along they had tried EVERY door all the way around the building. You have to use your imagination to picture the scene; they have tried all doors and found them locked, there are NO lights on in the building, and the only car in the parking lot is the one they drove there. What do you suppose his next statement to me was? "All the doors are locked and I can't get anybody to the door. Is everybody on break?" WHAT? Is everybody on break? Man, you have been listening to too many late night comedians. Do you really think we lock the doors, turn out the lights and lay down on mats like kindergartners for a nap at 10:00? Do I look like a state employee? Do you think there is EVER a time the phone is not ringing with some idiot complaining about receiving or not receiving some piece of junk mail? Have you EVER been to ANY post office where there is not a line of impatient, uneducated people asking for a special favor from one of the two window clerks doing the work of four window clerks? Do you HONESTLY think we have a time that everybody can just lock the doors of a large facility and take a break? Then you tell me you have moved twice and would like me to tell you where your mail is? Brother, you have moved to the right place because you really are an ELMORON!