Tuesday, October 31, 2006


"Iron rust from disuse, water loses its purity from stagnation, even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind". Leonardo da Vinci

There is a man in Wetumpka whose house I pass every day. He bought a new Harley-Davidson Sportster several months ago. He never rides it. I will spare you my analysis of the psychology involved and focus on the evident result. The disc brake rotors are already rusting. The disc brake rotors on my Honda are shiny. Why? His suffer from disuse, mine have lots of friction applied almost daily. We can see that in mechanical things. We also see the result of not using our bodies as the muscles become soft and fat creeps in. Less obvious is the gradual rusting of our brains.

All of us "tune out" some things. We have to in order to focus and achieve. It seems to me that an ever-growing portion of our society is choosing to "tune out" anything that relates to politics, societal shifts, and the impact of religious beliefs on a large scale. I concede that it is often complex--intentionally so. Many would have you believe that you need them to do the thinking for you and deliver to you a package of what you should believe. This has become the process for our two party system. I wish it were as simple as choosing the "right" party and just voting a straight ticket. It is not. We can not, however, blame the attractive candidate nor the shifty-eyed movers and shakers of national parties. They have adopted as their purpose to feed back to us what we want to hear. The fault is ours. We have failed to engage. Ask people over the next few days how much debt the USA currently has. Ask what it is projected to be in 10 years. I bet you a fat-adding hamburger none of your co-workers or family members have any idea. Is it important? Will it have to be paid? By whom? When? Do you ask these questions when considering a new car or house, even an appliance? I hope you do.

Please just think about whether you want your children to pay 60% of what they earn as income tax because you were too mentally lazy to ask some questions and demand some answers. Now.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Do you like the zoo?

How do you feel about walking through the zoo and observing elephants and lions that have been fenced in for your entertainment? It is educational to be able to see a live lion and hear his roar without the fear of becoming an appetizer. Still, it is sad to see these animals artificially fed and gradually see the "wild" fade from their eyes. At some locations you can drive through more or less natural habitat and view wild animals from the relative safety of your car. Be sure to take a video camera because a large percentage of these trips wind up on America's Funniest Home Video. While backpacking the portion of the Appalachian Trail that crosses the Smokey Mountain National Forest, we were required to sleep in three-sided shelters that had a chain-link fence and gate across the front to keep bears out at night. So many hikers were feeding bears through the fencing that it is now being removed to reduce the interaction between hikers and wild bears. That's not very comforting for the people passing through after the bears have been conditioned to come to the shelters for easy food.
Now imagine building a cage large enough to encompass an entire country. Did you know that is what is proposed for our country? True, right now the focus is just on the USA/Mexico border. Canada will come later. This raises several questions for me. The first relates to the previous discussion--who is caged? If we actually build an $500 million fence, wouldn't that be like repairing the levies in New Orleans while the water was still 9 feet deep in the city? Since there are an estimated 20 million illegal Mexican immigrants in the USA now and such a fence would take......maybe 12 years to build, there may well be, what, 60-70 million by the time it is finished. There will be almost as many on this side of the fence as on the other side. That is not my only concern. The biggest concern is where does the $500 million come from. Actually, that would likely turn billions. President Bush says a secure wall would cost $8 billion. The 14 mile fence south of San Diego has slowed the flow of Mexicans into that area. But the original estimate of $1 million per mile has actually cost $3.8 million per mile for the first 11 miles. Since the remaining 3 miles is over difficult terrain, it is expected to cost $10 million per mile to complete. Will that keep out terrorists? Of course not. Will it keep out illegal immigrants? Of course not. They will simply drive across at check-points. The problem is not crossing the borders. The problem is once they are here we treat them as legal citizens, as if they had always been here. Many are receiving government subsidies. I do not claim to have all, or even many, of the answers concerning immigration and naturalization. But I am sure that a fence we do not have the money to pay for will not fix the problem we are afraid to address.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Time Passages

Recently, I had the opportunity to go exploring. I really enjoy exploring--at least my version of it. It is what my grandmother would call plundering. Those in the legal profession would probably call it trespassing. As I went about this day looking at real estate lots for sale and nearby woods and swamps not for sale, I happened across this old Ford at the edge of a swamp. It is, in fact, about 1/3 submerged in water and was barely visible from where I was passing by. I have learned from years of hunting and viewing deer to watch for horizontal lines in the woods that seem unnatural. When I spotted the roofline of this vehicle, it looked at first like a '56 Chevy. After fighting the briars and considering where the cotton-mouth moccasin I had seen earlier was now, I got close enough to see that it was actually a '56 Ford. It had obviously been sitting in this spot at least 2 decades. A tree had grown through a hole in the back panel and where the rear window would have been. The tree is probably 10 or 12 years old. What really struck me about the remains of the car was the Fordomatic emblem still intact on the rear. The symbolism of the ultra-modern moniker Fordomatic that heralded Ford's innovation in automatic transmissions clinging to this shell of a car, long forgotten, made a striking impression on me. I decided to take some pictures and had my camera in the truck because I was taking it to the camera shop for repairs (the duct tape I applied while backpacking was slipping). Naturally, the camera would not cooperate. So I did the only logical thing. I drove to the camera shop for parts (they weren't much help). But with expensive new batteries and more duct tape I returned to my "find" and took pictures. Lots of pictures. The two above show the tree growing as if every '56 Ford should have a Popcorn tree growing through the back window and the distinctive fin and tail light that show it is indeed a '56. The small picture was harvested from the internet and is of a restored '56. If you look closely in the shadow of the Continental kit spare tire, you can see the Fordomatic emblem on it as well. Seems like a fitting representation of how we get so excited about the newest and best "stuff" and just have to have it. Even now, when I see the restored '56 Ford, there is some craving to posses it. If only we could always see 2 or 3 decades down the road.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

What's in a Name?

Yes, I am posting two politcal-related posts in one day. No, it will not be a habit and this one is a little more fun. In case anybody beyond my family and a few friends stumbles across this blog, let me assure you I am not a politician nor the son of a politician. In fact, as a USPS employee I am prohibited by the Hatch act from participating in partisan politics. That is just fine with me. I am interested in watching though. And it has always been amazing to me how important name recognition is to a person's chances of election. If you are born in Alabama as a Wallace or Folsom or Baxley (or marry one in order to capture the name) you have a leg up on your competition. Obviously, name recognition does not guarantee election but it REALLY helps. My personal friend Walking Wendell Mitchell created name recognition many years ago by utilizing alliteration and doing some walking in his campaigning. It worked so well that his current opponent is playing on that moniker to try to unseat him. The bad news is nobody knows her name because all her TV, radio, and print ads talk about Walking Wendell Mitchell. These races in Alabama are interesting to watch but not nearly as fun as it would be in district 4 in northeast California. The incumbent there is Rep. John Doolittle. I am not making this up. The good people of California actually elected Representative Doolittle. Now that's funny, I don't care who you are. Just leave your computer a minute and walk around saying "Rep. Doolittle, what are your plans if you are re-elected? Do you plan to do a lot?" I've got to tell you, I am all for electing more Doolittle's for Congress. The less they do, the better. Thanks, California that is almost as funny as electing the Terminator as govenor. But wait, that's not all! "Nothing could be funnier than Dr., I mean Rep. Doolittle being elected from the Terminator's state" you say. Well, what if Rep. Doolittle's opponent's name were Charlie Brown? I am not making this up! The race in District 4 is a close battle between Charlie Brown and John Doolittle! How can you take this seriously? One is a clown and the other just.....well, you know.

What's wrong with this picture?

Mark Foley. Would somebody please tell Mark Foley he is not in grade school anymore? As enough evidence came out to overcome any doubt that Mark Foley, while representing the working folks in Florida, has had inappropriate conversations and behavior involving young, male pages whose parents are desparately trying to help them have an advantage breaking into Ft. Knox. No, not the physical gold depository but rather the figurative gold mine of national politics. Once Mark Foley clearly could not deny nor laugh off allegations, he broke and ran. And just like a grade school boy he pointed fingers at others as he ran from his mess. Let's see, Mr. Foley can't help it because 1) he is an alcoholic, 2) he is gay, 3) he was molested by a priest 40 years ago. Then he named the priest. Why now? Allow me to state that I detest that priests so often sexually manipulate children to whom they have an obligation of spiritual nurturing and encouragement. The tidal wave of revelations in the last two decades should scream at those creating the legalistic system for Catholics that forcing people to be celibate in order to be a spiritual leader is a bad idea. God himself created a woman for the first man. God designed a simple plan for families; man and woman leave father and mother and cleave to each other. There, that's it. Any amendments create less than optimum results. Yes, I know Paul encouraged some to remain single. And those called to be itinerant preachers or other callings that conflict with devotion to a family should listen.

The important fact here, in my opinion, is not that priest sometimes behave badly with young boys (or girls). That is bad and needs to be dealt with. But in this story we are observing a grown man who not only felt he had weathered some inappropriate behavior 40 years ago to lead a normal life. He apparently felt that he was leading an EXEMPLARY life. He asked voters to choose him and pay him to represent them in our nations' capitol, which he did for years. He did not feel that alcoholism was a problem all that time. He did not feel that homosexual tendencies were a problem all that time. Once exposed, however, for behavior that could not be justified, he claimed every victim status he could come up with. It makes me sick that he now wants me to feel sorry for him. And while I usually vote for republicans and hate to see democrats regain control of congress, if other republicans covered for Foley or others in order to keep republicans in control then they should be voted out. I know, I know, both parties have corrupt individuals but I say remove anybody who has shown themselves to be of poor moral character and vote in someone who has the opportunity to be considered ethical until proving otherwise.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Lyons' Den

Lyons' den is where pro-baseball-player-turned-announcer will be watching the rest of the baseball playoffs. Why? Partly because he sometimes puts his foot in his mouth. Mostly because of political correctness. During game 3 of the American League Championship Series, Lyons responded to comments made by Hispanic co-announcer Lou Piniella in a way that MIGHT be taken as mocking his Hispanic heritage and was promptly fired by Fox. It would be confusing if I attempted to reconstruct the conversation here but the gist is this; Piniella made comments about a player who was not known for great hitting ability but had done well in the play-offs. He said it was "like finding a wallet on Friday and hoping to find another one the next week". Follow me here--this is the comment made by the Hispanic guy. Later he made several observations in Spanish about different players. The third announcer in the booth praised his bilingual abilities and then Lyons said Piniella was "hablaing Espanol'". He went on to insinuate that Piniella had taken his wallet. Now, granted Lyons did not conjugate his Spanish verbs very well and he took a good natured poke at his co-worker. But should he be immediately fired?

Here is my position. Fox is free to hire and fire anybody they wish. So if they feel they were not represented properly by Lyons they should not have to answer to anybody about firing him. However, I have serious concerns about whoever at Fox is making these decisions. If you listen to announcers in any sport you will find various levels of honest criticism of players, coaches, fans, and entire sports organizations. This is what they are paid to do. Generally, they are wise enough not to harshly criticize players on either side because they need fans of both teams (and others) to generate revenue. Some are more brave than others about making fun of players and fans. Lyons is one of those. Consider this question; is it better for an announcer to make fun of players who can not hear the comment and respond or to make fun of each other in order to entertain viewers/listeners? Howard Cosell made millions doing just this. Let's break it down further; Piniella makes fun of players and chides some in Spanish--no harm done. Lyons makes a joke about Piniella's analogy and speaking in Spanish--fired on the spot.

You better learn Spanish, folks. Your replacement already has.

Saturday, October 14, 2006


I do not want to alarm anybody but Jamin and Ashley have disappeared and there are black helicopters outside my house. Does that seem normal?

Thursday, October 12, 2006


This post is a simple request of the faithful few who read my blog and of any who stumble on it. Please click on the link titled "Lachen" and read the letter concerned the reactions in the Amish community following the tragic decision of a guilty mind to give up the battle that had raged within him and strike young members of this simple, peaceful community. It is a powerful testimony to the power of making time for prayer and growing awareness of the "real world" that surrounds this temporary world we see.

Little T Comes out to Play

For years I have had a little stirring to write a book. I believe I could communicate in a way that people would enjoy and learn. But the harsh reality is that I have no hook. Who do you see on the morning talk shows hawking their latest book? Somebody who has survived a horrific ordeal and has name recognition or a riviting story about which people want to know the intimate details. Or someone who has become famous via politics, business, or being friends with Oprah. Without the Ph.D. that declares "I am an expert in this area" or some dramatic story, it is difficult to break into the top sellers list. Judging from the number of comments left on my blog and what people tell me who, for whatever reason, choose not to leave comments I would probably sell about 17 copies of my book. So, I have never seriously pursued the idea. Then, about a week ago, I read that a new author has his first book out. It is none other than Terrell Owens! For you non-sports fans, T.O. is a loudmouth, crybaby, millionaire football player that thinks all the world is against him because they realize he is far superior. He is a truly detestable person. What kind of book would such a person write? Would you believe a children's book? I am not making this up! Not only is his first children's book our (about playing well together!!!!!) but two more are coming. Of course, he has a ghost writer that actually is writing the books and using his notoriety to sell them. He is not writing them because he probably could not write a sentence, let alone a book. No doubt, he could serve as the bad example in a children's book. Soooo, I am watching all of you. As soon as you make enough people mad and behave badly enough to get lots of national attention we will team up and write a book. We will be able to work as a team because I am doing research already--reading about little "T".

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Is That a Real Gun?

This just in; local redneck gives his opinion about North Korea! What do you make of the news of North Korea supposedly testing a nuclear weapon? It sounds like one of those guys who attempts to rob a convenience store with his hand in his jacket pocket pretending to have a gun. Why does he do that? So the minimum-wage clerk will be unsure if he really has a gun and react as if he really does. That is what the store owner has trained the clerk to do. Hand over the money, get the best description you can, and don't take any chances. The store clerk hears "We care about our employees more than money." The owner is thinking "I would rather loose $243 from the register than pay your disability for the next 27 years." Also, the thief knows that if he doesn't actually show a gun, he can claim later he didn't really have one. You know, later, when he gets caught.

How is this like North Korea? Has anyone seen a nuclear weapon? Can anyone verify a nuclear weapon? Kim (which is the name of all military leaders in N. Korea) said today "If the United States doesn't change it's attitude, we will test another nuclear weapon!" So...go ahead. That sounds to me like saying "Don't test me, I will stick my other hand in my pocket and pretend to have TWO guns!" If they really have nuclear weapons at all, how many can they have? If they blast them all underground in N. Korea--fine.

U.N. secretary-general Coffee....I mean Kofi Anan wants the USA to have one-on-one talks with N. Korea. Why? Because they have both hands in their jacket pocket? Who cares what the U.N. secretary general thinks? What kind of title is that anyway? Is he a secretary or a general? "Hey, Coffee....I mean Kofi bring me some coffee. Then run over and attack North Korea."

Please. North Korea reminds me of that video on "America's Funniest". You know the one where the toddler is pitching a fit. Then mom goes to another room and he follows only to flop down and pitch a fit in front of her. When she returns to the first room he follows quietly, then does the tantrum thing again, over and over.

It is funny with a two year old.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Columbus Day

Does everybody know why you didn't get mail yesterday? Yes, it is the day we honor Columbus as an explorer and, right or wrong, credit him with discovering America. If you want to leave comments about who all was already here when he stumbled on the shore, that is fine. Any rants about his intentions or misguided ambitions are welcome. However, I have attempted to put myself in his place and find it difficult to imagine loading up three ships and sailing across a vast expanse of ocean towards where most everybody thought the world just dropped off based on my belief that the world was, in fact, round. Again, say and believe what you want but this was a man of courage and adventure. Therefore, in honor of the explorer I decided to use most of my holiday exploring by going on a walk-about. The intention was a 20 mile hike to test drive some new hiking equipment (boots and shorts). My annual trek to the Appalachian Trail with friends and my brother this year will be in November because we had difficulty finding a time when all could make it. Still not all can make it. As it stands now three or four of us plan to spend a few days in the North Georgia mountains backpacking highlighted by an attempt to cover about 22 miles in one day. This distance in steep mountains on rocky footing is a far cry from covering the same distance on flat ground so it is a real challenge. Added to the uncertainty is the fact that days are getting one to two minutes shorter now and there will be much less daylight by early November. But it will be fun. Yesterday may be an indication of what to expect. I spent most of the morning finding gear, cleaning hydration bottles and then trekking to the store to replace one that had been stored with some moisture in the tube and ....well, lets just say it needed to be replaced. Since I started so late, I was sure I would have to lower my goal distance. Also, the planned route turned out to be too dangerous for walking--no shoulder on our highways. You will think this is funny or maybe just goofy, but I decided to walk down the interstate. Not very scenic and too much traffic but easy walking and there are MILE MARKERS. Eventually, I walked from Waugh to Shorter. After a short break at Shorter--no not the dog track--I walked down Hwy. 80 back to Waugh a distance of about 13 miles. The choice still was not the safest and certainly not the most aesthetic but an adventure just the same. In light of recent news events, I am sure some of the passing cars were concerned about my presence on the interstate and I would not have been surprised to be questioned by law enforcement personnel.

The only observation I want to share is the thought that occurred to me several times during this hike. While there are always dangers from others and always things to be discovered, the exploration and discovery is really about what is inside each of us. What am I afraid of? What am I willing to risk? What is important to me? What are my comfort zones? Am I limited by fear of what others will think? While I walked and sorted through some of these thoughts, I tried to imagine how much they would be amplified if I were sailing with a crew that counted on my leadership towards the line where the ocean meets the sky for the first time. Thank you, Christopher.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Groundhog Day

Yes, I do really like the movie "Groundhog Day". Although the movie seems goofy at first and the premise of living the exact same day over and over is ridiculous, there are some great lessons that are easy to see. No, this post is not really about the movie. It is really about.......groundhogs! Allow me to make a prediction that you probably have not heard anywhere else. We will soon be overpopulated with groundhogs. There it is. A simple straight-forward statement that contradicts the common sense thinking of all six readers of this blog. "How can that be? I have never even SEEN a groundhog" you will say to your computer monitor. Go ahead, call to your spouse/co-worker "Hey, you ever seen a groundhog around here?" Listen for this response "Nope, I think they are just around Punxatawny." Well, a couple of years ago I would have said that in all my hunting and stomping around in the woods (and that is a lot) I had never seen a groundhog. Then one day I pulled into a driveway off Hwy. 231 at the edge of Wetumpka and there sat two large.....What is that? Beavers? Eating acorns that have accumulated at the bottom of this steep drive? Do beavers eat acorns? Let me see if I can get closer. Wow, they are fast! I don't think they went far, I will walk to the edge of this kudzu....Wow, they are fast! And they don't have large flat tails! They have tails similar to a squirrel. HEY, THAT IS A GROUNDHOG! Of course, I was talking to myself again. At that point I became attuned to the rascals and you know what? There are LOTS of them around historic downtown Wetumpka. As I began to watch them, their fondness for steep banks covered in kudzu became apparent. Then when the leaves of the kudzu die in the winter you can see on the steep banks dozens of burrows. And along the banks of the Coosa are LOTS of groundhogs! I am not making this up. Now, there have been several occasions that I stood 6 or 8 feet above a groundhog hanging out near the safety of his tunnel. Today I drove to an area behind the old Adams Drugs on Hill Street in historic downtown Wetumpka to take a break and eat a pear by the river. When I rounded the corner I saw a groundhog scampering across the parking lot. I stopped quickly and he did as well. It was a smaller one--probably an adolescent disobeying strict instructions to stay within the kudzu. He sat up and ate acorns as long as I sat still in the vehicle. In a few minutes I pulled up a little and he scampered to the cover of kudzu. I of course walked quietly to the edge of the kudzu and looked down to see junior scurry into a hole in the embankment. He was followed by a HUGE adult groundhog--either mom or dad. From the dorsal view I had, the gender was a mystery. The mom (I am playing a hunch on gender) stayed near the opening of the tunnel and was about 5 feet directly below me. Since the bank is very steep there, I thought to myself "I could spit right on her head or I could drop this gum on her". Well, that just seems unbelievable doesn't it? Believe it. I did just that. Go ahead PETA members who are monitoring this blog for cruelty to 30 pound rodents, make whatever hateful comments you want. Not only did I drop my gum on her back, but it stuck in her hair and I thought it was FUNNY! Then, every time she went in one hole and came out 5 feet over with the blue/green gumspot showing it became funnier and funnier. I finished my pear while watching this comedy for several minutes and decided to share the pear core with my giant rat friends. I dropped it near big mamma (that is probably what the family calls her) and she backed into the hog-hole part way but still had her head out. She would twist her head around and look right at me. I guess the amazing thing is that almost nobody who lives and works in this area has EVER seen a groundhog. I have seen scores and scores of them now. If they have become that comfortable around people and are that numerous, it is just a matter of time that you WILL be seeing some--maybe in a backyard near you. When you read the headline in the June 11, 2010 Montgomery Advertiser "Game Biologists Claim Area Overpopulated with Groundhogs", just remember--you heard it here first.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Leaving a Trail

Wednesday was to be a great relaxing day of laundry, study, and recreational reading. It certainly began that way when I went to Hardee's with LaWanna for a biscuit before she had to head downtown for an insurance class. When she left I purchased a newspaper and was happily engrossed when I heard a soft whistle. There were Mark and Lindsay to have a biscuit before work. They came over and visited while having their breakfast. When they left I read a while and headed home to get some laundry started. Once home, I checked my e-mail and had one from my mom which is somewhat unusual. She was informing me that her sister had died Tuesday. The visitation was to be Wednesday and the funeral Thursday, both in Dawson, Georgia. I wasn't really that close to this aunt and, sadly, not really close to most of mom's family. Here is the problem; mom was to leave early Thursday morning with a friend from church in Americus to travel with a tour group for 11 days through much of northern US and into Canada. It would be her first such trip since retiring and I was very happy for her to be going. Suddenly, she had to decide between attending her sister's funeral and going on her trip. Adding to the stress is the fact that the friend who was going is not very independent and leans on mom a lot. It would be very hard for her to go if mom didn't. I called mom to encourage her to go on the trip. I offered to go with her to visitation on Wednesday and to the funeral with my brother on Thursday. She seemed to have already decided to go on the trip but I think her sons honoring her by being there helped. Lots could be said about the whirlwind trip. According to the preacher who conducted the graveside service, Aunt Cortez made Sister Teresa seem selfish and self-centered. Exaggerations aside, she was a sweet lady and raised four good-hearted kids. Much of what was said during the funeral and in private conversations relate to the title and topic of this post. What struck me, however, was a seemingly insignificant event after Keith (my brother) and I arrived back in Americus. I stopped at his house long enough to change from my suit and visit a few minutes. During this time he wanted to show me something. It was in an antique looking cardboard box labeled Snap-On. The tool inside was a "Torque Meter". It is similar to a torque wrench but more like a screwdrive than a wrench with a meter built in. It was engraved in neat cursive NOLAN WISHUM. A man had stopped Keith in a parking lot and said he had something to give him. The meter had obviously been assigned to dad when he worked at the Redman/New Moon mobile home plant in Americus in the 1970's. He would have used it during the time he was a Quality Control Manager and checking the work of people on the assembly line. The plant closed in the 70's and the company was moved to another city. Eventually they closed there and had something like a "factory yard sale". This man we didn't know bought the tool along with other things and later discovered the name engraved on it. He attempted to return the tool to dad but learned he was deceased then tracked Keith down to give the tool to him. That says a lot about the character of this gentleman that he would make that effort to return what is little more than a keepsake. It also says something about dad that someone would make the effort. It occurred to me that it likely said something about dad's character that when he left the company he did not carry with him tools that were assigned to him and for which he had not paid. So I sat there a minute and studied the tool that had been engraved by my dad and used daily by him more that 35 years ago and thought how little intrinsic value it held for me but what great value because it told part of a story of a man being transformed from a sharecropper with a short temper and love of fistfights to a funiture store employee then manager then production worker then manager then T.V. repairman and all the time knowing that these were not his true calling. He was first a Christian husband, father, and elder. The jobs did not define who he was. They simply provided income for living expenses while he went about defining who he was. Not many rich and powerful folks noticed. But a good many simple, hard-working folks did. I am thankful.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


First, allow me to state that I am not the world's biggest NBA fan--nor other pro sports for that matter. We may vent on that later. For now let's just take a look at one NBA player that demonstrates the kind of lifestyle and thought processes I never wanted to instill in my children. Gilbert Arenas has made news a number of times. Sometimes for great play, sometimes for being a bonehead. He is in the news now because he is training at altitude. That is not so unusual. Lots of elite athletes (or those who desire to be) travel to Colorado to train and develop more endurance. What is unusual is that Gilbert is training at altitude in Washington D.C.! That is right, I am not making this up. He has hired a company to "thin" the air in his home so he will have the effect of living at a high altitude. For now, he has a tent in one room but will eventually have the entire house converted. Just what this guy needs--less oxygen to his brain. So how will this affect his skills when he plays on-line poker during half-time of his games? How will it affect his house guests? How will it affect his divinity? (Not his spirituality, the candy that is temperamental to weather)

Monday, October 02, 2006


I have been thinking (insert witty remark here). Whenever superman flies, he always assumes the "superhero flying position"--you know stretched out with arms and hands extended as if diving except with his head held higher than you would to dive. That makes sense and all and if I began thinking I might be able to fly, most likely I would automatically assume that position because Superman always does it that way. But is it really necessary? Could he fly feet first? There might be some advantages to a "luge position" as opposed to the "diver position". When you came in for a landing your feet would already be extended ahead of your body and you could avoid that awkward swoop-hoover-land motion. Of course, female superheroes who insist on wearing skirts and high heels would have to resort to the "diver position" because the "luge position would cause her skirt to fly over her head which would distract her steering as much as that illuminated make-up mirror on the sun visor. The skirt over the head would also distract onlookers. I guess if she had on Superwoman underwear instead of thongs it would be as modest as most superhero costumes. What about other positions? Could Superman sit with crossed legs like the "thinker" and rest his chin on his hand and still fly just as fast? Why not? Is wind resistance a factor for superheroes? I really don't know. You know those times he flew around the Earth counter the natural rotation so many times and so fast that he caused the Earth to stop and spin backwards so he could go back in time to save somebody? Couldn't he save some trips (and therefore time) if he flew around in a standing (waiting in the car tag line) position? I am really curious about this. If you have a degree in physics or have read lots of comic books or ever stayed in a Holiday Inn Express please shed some light on this subject.