Stupor Bowl

Well, the Stupor Bowl is almost over. No, it didn't end in the rain last night. It drones on and on with every channel showing camera shots of rain against the dark sky. As much as I have tried to avoid it for years, the super-hype bleeds into the lives of the most avid non-pro-football-fan. Do football fans really need 37 hours of pre-game stories about every medical condition of every player, their families, and anybody remotely connected? Do they really need recipes to prepare for watching the game? How many times do they need to be told about the importance of two black coaches making it to the super bowl? Do they really need CBS to trot out Katie Couric? Please! What does Katie have to do with football? Sure, she has the legs of a lineman and would never have made it big on the Today show if they had not CONSTANTLY shown camera angles that highlighted her legs, but football? You think I'm kidding about her legs? How are her ratings doing sitting behind the anchorperson's desk? Watch Fox or any of the news networks and tell me nobody has noticed how prominent legs are in camera angles. And what was Katie's story? Racial bias against the family of LAST YEAR'S super bowl MVP. And about that minor part of all this--the game, I have a comment. Keep in mind, I did not watch one minute of any of this yesterday or last night. It is all being replayed this morning while I would prefer to be watching meaningful news. The game. What it is all about, right? Basically, it appears that a bunch of 300 pound men fumbling an oblong ball in driving rain for hours while many thousands sat in the rain to scream and wave signs and millions sat in a comfortable den and watched their new $2000 dollar high-definition TV provide crystal clear pictures of.....rain on camera lenses. Oh yeah, in the middle of it all, the 300 pound guys took a break from fumbling the football so a 90 pound man wearing a handerchief on his head could sing some hits from the 90"s. Hey, it is fine with me if you want to watch. Just don't EVER say anything to me about NASCAR being boring!

Super Bowl Warning

According to officials in Miami-Dade Florida the Super Bowl may refer to more than the uber-hyped football game to be played on Sunday. The term may also denote the porcelain fixture located in one or more small to mid-sized rooms in your home. That is correct, the toilet that we all take for granted could become a headline item on Super Bowl Sunday when 90 million football fans realize at half-time that they have consumed more bean dip and beverages than intended and head to the head at the same time. I am not making this up. That means 350 million gallons flushed almost simultaneously. The CBS affiliate in Miami is reporting that every year during half-time of the Super Bowl plumbers are called in record numbers because pending problems succumb to the pressure of so many flushes. Of course, if Janet Jackson is scheduled to perform, the flushes may be staggered into the third quarter. Obviously, you can't go during commercials because that is, by far, the best part of the Super Bowl. My advice is "go early". Who knows there may be lots of folks with the same instructions as Baron--floating newspaper in the toilet. If the terrorists were really smart, they would target the nation's sewer system.