Tuesday, April 10, 2007

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

For a while I was angered by the claims of pseudo-scientists and the inventor of the internet. Then I began to just laugh at claims such as "global temperatures have risen steadily throughout the 650,000 years of recorded history." 650,000 years? Where is all that history recorded? And where was it when I was in school? Did we recently dig up some weather reports showing the current temperature and rainfall for the past 24 hours from 650,000 years ago? So much of this "science" defies logic. Once I started laughing at the silly claims, I could not stop. When I began to hear about Algore feeling fine about his private planes and huge house while he flew around telling people to feel guilty about hauling their kids to school in an SUV because he buys Carbon off-sets I was rolling in the floor laughing. This is better than anything on the Comedy Network. I laughed and I laughed. Occasionally, it seemed prudent to explain to someone that I really do feel we should be good stewards of the earth. Gradually, I began to conceive a plan. I can help save the earth. It turns out that some of the companies that will gladly receive your carbon off-sets--say $5.50 per ton--use that money to plant trees which solve the problem. I have always wanted to own some timberland and now I see a way. My company will use the off-set money you send me to plant trees on my land. Now, I do not actually own the land yet. I will have to buy the land from the proceeds of your guilt. But with everybody on the bandwagon now about global warming and nobody noticing that it was FREEZING over the Easter weekend, it should not take long to have the land paid for and begin planting trees. So send your money. You will feel better. I will feel better. And Algore will have invented the internet, won an oscar and Nobel prize, and saved the planet. Everyone will feel better.

8 comments:

Kenny Simpson said...

Algore??? Is he going by one name now? I think he invented putting names together.

Supabloggasuprememama said...

kenny-bwahahaha. though in contrast to Mr. WISHUM, Jamin and I are pitching in, because I do believe this is happening. how can we deny the evidence of Hurricane Katrina and the melting ice caps? yes, AlGORE looks like a fat bullfrog on top of being a moron, but I do believe the scientists that are behind him.

We plan to purchase the more expensive but energy efficient light bulbs, start recycling, and have stopped using paper plates to conserve trees. You can also unplug all your appliances that are not currently being used, so that it conserves energy as well. regardless of global warming, you might want to look up the rates at which things deteriorate. its pretty interesting. Oh and if anyone wants to donate to our minivan fund so we can stop driving my suv, that would be AWESOME.

bpb said...

It was freezing on Easter. I think the main idea behind global warming is that everything is out of whack. The seasons are messed up. For a long time, I thought it was all foolishness too, but not any longer. Too much evidence of it being real.

Lerra said...

Ok, first of all, if you want to say that the environment is changing, that's fine - but stop calling it GLOBAL WARMING when it's not, well, globally warming. Anyway I'm not sure I agree with all of it either, simply because we've already been through all of this, even in my lifetime. It has snowed in April before. It has been warm in December before. Why didn't we call it global warming then? Why it is global warming this time? I agree with Ashley - that we can all do our part to help the environment & conserve energy. But I'm not so sure we are completely altering the environment of the entire world by our poor habits here in the U.S.

Jamin said...

its not called global warming because at our given spot on the planet it is warming necessarily, but more so that the earth's atmosphere is slowly warming causing unusual effects on weather patterns for example 40 degree weather on easter. Which we have experienced in the last 15 years before, but it is still abnormal even if it happens twice.

The term global warming has been in text books for at least 25 years now, but of course textbooks always lag behind theory. However most scientist are shying away from the use of this term simply because of the confusion of the phrase.

With that said, yes Al Gore is a opportunistic idiot. However as Ashley said I do believe we have a responsiblity to live as enviromentally responsible as possible and I for one have a long way to go to accomplish that, but I want to try.

Roxy Wishum said...

What was the average daily temperature in Montgomery in, say, 1435? Were the glaciers calving into glacier bay in the 1600's? Did the Earth really exist 650,000 years ago? If so, what was daily life like? These are the questions that "scientists" are telling us they have the answer to. If, in fact, the surface of the Earth has warmed a fraction of a degree in the last 100 years, I say that is amazing! Not because it is alarming but because 100 years ago there were almost zero cars, factories, computers, airplanes, and many homes did not even have electricity. In fact, there were about 70% fewer homes in the USA just 100 years ago. If all the changes we have seen in the last 100 years have raised the temperature world-wide less than one degree, I feel pretty safe. If the average daily temperature in the USA had risen 6 or 8 degrees I would not be shocked or alarmed. But it hasn't. Nowhere near that. We are talking fractions of a degree per hundred years. Does anybody (without financial gain at stake) really believe that 800 years ago there were accurate records of temperatures world-wide to the fraction of a degree? Or 100 years ago? 100 years ago many in the USA were riding in buckboards and going to an outhouse in the cow pasture out back.

Nobody love nature and the outdoors more than me. And few hate to see people dump trash on the side of the road, homeowners cut down trees because they are tire of raking, or homebuilders cut down trees in mass because more money can be made that way, more than me. But the idea that my going to a concert by Madonna and others living an extravagant lifestyle is helping save the planet is beyond silly. Carbon offsets will be a HUGE money maker. Follow the money. The entertainment industry and politicians are making LOTS of money already on the global warming scare. It is very much like the principle of Snoop Dog attacking Don Imus for saying one team of female players look more like "nappy-headed hoes" than the other. Don Imus is a trash-mouthed shock jock and deserves critism. But from worse foul-mouth rappers who use language that makes those words seem like Sunday-school language? The principle is this; people allow others to do their thinking and group-think is powerful. That we can be led in our thinking by people with ulterior motives scares me much more than the effect my truck exhaust has on the planet that God said He is holding together.

Lerra said...

Amen. And I, too, hate that homebuilders cut down trees. I don't have any shade in my yard! Booo!!

We could go on & on about the global warming issue. And yes, I do know why they call it Global Warming. I'm just saying it should have another name. How about "Global Weather Changing That May or May Not Be Accurate"?

katskloset said...

Well said, Roxy. Have you seen the TIME magazine cover from ten years ago decrying 'Global Cooling'? I think it's all a symptom of thinking of ourselves, humans, as so very powerful.

preach it,

Kat