Tuesday, April 10, 2007
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
For a while I was angered by the claims of pseudo-scientists and the inventor of the internet. Then I began to just laugh at claims such as "global temperatures have risen steadily throughout the 650,000 years of recorded history." 650,000 years? Where is all that history recorded? And where was it when I was in school? Did we recently dig up some weather reports showing the current temperature and rainfall for the past 24 hours from 650,000 years ago? So much of this "science" defies logic. Once I started laughing at the silly claims, I could not stop. When I began to hear about Algore feeling fine about his private planes and huge house while he flew around telling people to feel guilty about hauling their kids to school in an SUV because he buys Carbon off-sets I was rolling in the floor laughing. This is better than anything on the Comedy Network. I laughed and I laughed. Occasionally, it seemed prudent to explain to someone that I really do feel we should be good stewards of the earth. Gradually, I began to conceive a plan. I can help save the earth. It turns out that some of the companies that will gladly receive your carbon off-sets--say $5.50 per ton--use that money to plant trees which solve the problem. I have always wanted to own some timberland and now I see a way. My company will use the off-set money you send me to plant trees on my land. Now, I do not actually own the land yet. I will have to buy the land from the proceeds of your guilt. But with everybody on the bandwagon now about global warming and nobody noticing that it was FREEZING over the Easter weekend, it should not take long to have the land paid for and begin planting trees. So send your money. You will feel better. I will feel better. And Algore will have invented the internet, won an oscar and Nobel prize, and saved the planet. Everyone will feel better.