Annual Physical

Yesterday was the day for my annual physical. Only it hasn't been exactly "annual" since I was fired by my doctor. That's right, the year before last I received a certified letter from my doctor telling me I had been fired. O.K., those weren't the exact words. One of the doctors (physicians assistant, actually) had retired from the practice and they were cutting back on the patient load. SUPPOSEDLY, they had randomly chosen patients to terminate. It is a little humbling. I had always felt like I was just tolerating doctors, but really liked Dr. Tolentino. It was all about professional skill and personal demeanor--it had nothing to do with the fact that she was female and cute. It took me a while to become serious about finding a new doctor and eventually followed LaWanna's lead in considering Dr. Hendon. The process of becoming a new patient was eye-opening as well. Times have changed and many doctors now are very selective about accepting new patients (better have good insurance). Thankfully, both LaWanna and I were accepted so she had her physical on Monday and I had mine on Wednesday. The ordeal of getting a few hours off work is for another blog, but suffice it to say that it should not be that difficult for someone who has been at a company for 35 years and has accumulated over 2000 hours of sick leave AND had not used a single hour of sick leave for 5 years to get a few hours for a doctors appointment.

I could write a lengthy post about a physical and the indignities of prostate and hernia exams and how silly it seems to chat about college football while turning to the side, shirtless, and holding both arms over your head for chest x-rays. But allow me just this one funny observation about the beginning of the exam. First, kudos to Family Practice for getting patients in when they are scheduled. Finally, I feel like my time is appreciated. Then on the way down the many turns of a winding hallway, we stop at the scales. I know it is silly, but I wore dress shoes instead on my more comfortable hiking boots because they weigh so much less. What a ripoff to weigh with pocket change, cell phone, clothes, and a wallet stuffed with loads of cash. As if that is not bad enough, when the nurse had recorded my weight, she said "What is your height? Or we can measure you if you take off your shoes." "Heck no," says I. "If I take my shoes off for you to measure my height, we are doing the weight again sans shoes!" "And if I can just tell you my height based on the last time I measured (which may be high school), why couldn't I just tell you my weight?" What's up with that? Why deny me the 3/4 inch height boost from my shoes if you aren't even going to note that the weight includes 26 pounds of clothes, pocketknives, electronics AND that was before my haircut! I bet I got a pound of hair cut off later. I have a good mind to go back by first thing in the morning, strip naked and get a true weight for that chart. THEN she can measure my height without shoes.